This is My Body

Have you ever had that moment when on the first try you find that insane itch

And right when you make contact it’s a second of instant relief and you hear your breath hitch

And then you scratch and you scratch until you are bleeding red and raw

Hacking away at the spot with your hand that now feels like a saw

And as you scratch and scratch it’s like the spot migrates to somewhere else

But as you move to the new spot the old spot is itching and you second guess your self

What spot do I tackle first? What needs my immediate attention?

But what is causing the itching no one has bothered to mention.

I have spent my time moving from spot to spot

Feeling insane as I notice another red dot

So busy and consumed by hacking away at bits and pieces of me

Wishing that just for a moment I could separate myself from this body

Have a minute to breath a full breathe; one of pain free ease

Taking in all the oxygen I can hoping the pain will continue to cease

But the breath isn’t even halfway down my chest before the itching is all consuming

Maybe if I lie still it will stop the seemingly incessant moving

But now he is here and has taken it as a sign that I have given up; finally he has won

Walls and things that were holding him back; he thinks there are none

He can take over me for I have given up; I have no more fight

He has dangled the apple and I have come in for a greedy bite

You see he thought he knew what I needed; his chaos has now become consistent

This is the better way on that he will stay insistent

But I’m sorry, he mistook my silence for surrender

I was still here taking in breathe after breathe trying to mend her

This chaos he’s fabricated is not mine I do not claim it

In myself I was at peace and that I am willing to name it

I’ve stepped on the serpent; on his blood I’d rather sip

And that apple he offered now rots in his grip,

Yes I scratched and scratched until I left myself raw and bleeding

But it’s the only way that my love could come in and start the healing

So yes, I am finally healing and I’ve just begun,

This war isn’t over — and he hasn’t won.

I am raising my voice now; I want to say this loud and clear

This is my body; and you are not welcome here